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Un fotógrafo jovencito se entremete en el barrio de Belgrano, llega a una casa sencilla de la calle Arcos y toca el timbre. Abre Osvaldo. El fotógrafo le dice: De Página/12, don Osvaldo. Osvaldo arruga un poco el ceño y le dice al pibe no me digás don, eso se le dice a los estancieros o a los mafiosos, grandes enemigos míos de toda mi vida y con los cuales jamás pienso arreglar nada. El fotógrafo casi se cae sentado o, si se prefiere, de culo y le dice a Bayer (porque de él estamos hablando): Vea, señor Bayer, dice, yo lo respeto mucho y para mí respetar a alguien es decirle ‘don’. Vas mal, pibe, le dice Bayer. El respeto no es sumisión. Respetar es una cosa, someterse otra. Someterse, jamás. Será aconsejable decir que Osvaldo se ha levantado torcido esta mañana porque le ocurrieron dos cosas poco gratas con una amante que tiene. 1) Le sonrió y ella no le devolvió la sonrisa; 2) Le tiró un beso y ella nada, fría y despectiva ni lo miró. ¿Qué pasa, Marlene?, preguntó Osvaldo. Ayer no me dijiste ‘buenas noches’, ingrato, dice la Dietrich, desde el retrato que cuelga exactamente sobre la camita en la que Osvaldo, cuando anda en soledades, suele dormir. Te pido mil perdones, arruga Osvaldo. Venía atormentado. Hay días y hay noches así. En que a uno se le da por creer que el monumento a Roca se queda ahí. Hasta el fin de los tiempos, Marlene. Y eso me pone mal. Pero Marlene, nada. Ni una sonrisa, nada. Osvaldo lo sabe: Marlene es fiera y dura, una alemana de aquéllas. De modo que mal no le viene esta intempestiva aparición del fotógrafo de Página/12. Acaso le mejore esta mañana con tristezas.
– Bueno, pibe – le dice –. ¿Qué querés?
– Tengo que sacarle una foto, señor Bayer.
– Bueno, vení. Pasá.
Entran y Osvaldo no le sirve un café porque tiene sobre las hornallas de la cocina 200 ejemplares de La Protesta que consiguió hace un par de días en el velorio de un anarquista. Buen muchacho, le comenta al fotógrafo, aunque, a veces, se descarriaba escribiendo contra Di Giovanni. Como verás, Di Giovanni no le puso ni una sola bomba, ni una. Que si no, antes de ayer, no lo velábamos en su casa y en su cama y yo no birlaba esos 200 ejemplares que, honestamente, pibe, son un material invalorable. ¿Sos anarquista vos? El fotógrafo se pone pálido y tose un par de veces. Al fin, dice: No, señor Bayer. La verdá: soy peronista.
Puta madre, pibe. Tan joven y ya extraviado. A ver, tomá. Le da un ejemplar de La Protesta. –Leete esto.
Por ahí levantás la puntería.
– ¿Puedo? –farfulla el fotógrafo.
– Eso, ¿a qué viniste? – pregunta Osvaldo.
– A sacarle una foto, señor.
– ¿Para?
– Para la tapa de Página/12.
– ¿Para la tapa? Qué, ¿ya me dan por finado?
El fotógrafo le dice que no. Que se votó en la redacción y todos, por unanimidad, decidieron que quien debía salir de una vez por todas en la tapa del diario y quedar en ese número homenajeado para la eternidad era el hombre más moral de la vida de los argentinos, que vendría a ser usted, señor, remata el fotógrafo.
– ¿Están en pedo? ¿A quién se le ocurrió eso? –se encrespa Osvaldo.
– A todos, señor.
– Bueno, andá y deciles que están equivocados. Que todos sabemos que el hombre más moral de la historia de los argentinos es Sábato. Con acento, eh.
Y Osvaldo larga una carcajada tan sonora que el fotógrafo se sienta en un banquito para no caerse.
Osvaldo tose, se ahoga, le salen lágrimas jocundas y por fin se recuesta contra la pared.
– Esta bien – dic e–. Lo hago por vos, pibe. Seguro que te pagarán unos pesos por esto.
– No muchos, señor.
– Sacá la foto, dale. Pero con una condición.
– La que quiera.
–Marlene posa conmigo.
– ¿Es su esposa?
– Es mi amante –sonríe Osvaldo, con esa picardía tan limpia que le sale cuando sonríe así, como todos sabemos que sabe hacerlo.
Descuelga el retrato de la Dietrich y se sienta junto a la cocina, junto a los ejemplares de La Protesta y pone el cuadro de Marlene sobre sus rodillas y lo mira al fotógrafo.
– Así está perfecto, señor.
– Pibe, si me decís una vez más señor, no hay foto.
– ¿Y cómo le digo?
– Me decís Osvaldo.
Entonces el fotógrafo dice:
– Diga whisky, Osvaldo.
Y saca la foto.
Después le pide que le firme el ejemplar de Severino Di Giovanni que escondía en la mochila, lo saluda y se va.
Osvaldo cuelga el retrato de Marlene.
– Mirá vos, Marlene. Quién diría: la tapa de Página/12. Y así, ¿no? En plena juventud.
Esa noche, ella, que lo ama como no amó a ninguno de los numerosos hombres de su agitada vida, se inclina sobre él y lo besa en la frente, en los ojos y, con mucha ternura, apenas como una brisa tibia, en los labios.
Osvaldo se duerme feliz. Y sueña su sueño preferido, el que sólo sueña cuando ella lo besa como lo ha besado. Sueña que es de noche y un rayo poderoso pulveriza para toda la eternidad el monumento a Roca.
Crediti
• José Pablo Feinmann
• Suplemento aniversario 'Los que no fueron tapa', 26/05/06
• Pinterest • Joan Miró •
• Suplemento aniversario 'Los que no fueron tapa', 26/05/06
• Pinterest • Joan Miró •
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